Chapter 7

Sarah had dropped Dan off at a reasonably clean looking motel, and told him she was going to go and get some food and supplies. Once she got back, they’d take the van and get rid of it.

Only Sarah never went to the grocery store, or back to the motel. Instead, she took the van back to the New Paradigm’s compound. As an Experimental Theologian, her curiosity had gotten the best of her.

She stopped on the highway a ways before reaching the dirt road that lead to the compound, and changed into her track suit again. She drove on, and reached the dirt road in a matter of minutes.

There were a shocking number of cars lined up along the dirt road. Each of the cars had at least one unnaturally happy looking person inside wearing a track suit. Sarah made a quick decision, and pulled the van into the line of cars that moved slowly towards the gate. She began to get nervous as she approached the gate. She recognized the guard as being the same man who had been on guard-duty when they’d rescued Pan.

Stay cool, she thought, stay cool. It’s going to be ok. This is not the cargo van he is looking for. Stay cool.

The van reached the gate and the guard, disinterested and barely awake, waved her in the same way as the other cars.

I can’t believe it, she thought. He didn’t even look at me.

She parked the van where directed by a man in a orange and white tracksuit. All the other people were getting out of their cars and walking into the building through the open loading bay doors. Sarah joined the group and walked inside. Apart from a few friendly gestures and greetings, she went entirely unnoticed.

At the far end of the room was a raised stage with a podium, a chair and a strange device that made Sarah uneasy.

Sarah was ushered to a folding chair in the middle of a row of shiny, happy, track suited freaks. She sat down and looked around at the other people in attendance. There was a veritable fruit rainbow of colored track suits.

Yikes, she thought. Unity in bad taste.

Soon a man in a sober grey suit walked down the center aisle up to the podium.

“Good evening, my friends,” Tim said. “We are gathered tonight for something rather special. Tonight we begin our revolution. Tonight, we will cast off the oppression of these so-called deities. We begin with this offender.”

A man dressed in a black tuxedo jacket and white top hat was lead on to the stage by two men in orange and white track suits. He moved calmly, almost regally. He was restrained in the chair, and the men who led him left the stage.

Tim walked from the podium to the strange device and the crowd leaned forward in their seats almost as one. Their eyes sparkled, and the room fell entirely silent.

I can’t fucking believe I’m going to see this, Sarah thought. This is fucked up.

Tim picked up what looked like a wand with a golden tip and touched it to the restrained man’s temple. He flipped a switch and the man went rigid, then howled. His howl stopped abruptly, and he slumped forward in the chair, dead.

Holy shit holy shit holy shit, Sarah thought. She was fairly certain she was going to be ill.

A couple of men came on stage and began spraying air fresheners. Tim walked back to the podium.

“So it begins, and soon we shall all be deities ourselves, free from the rule of these petty tyrants,” Tim said. The crowd burst into applause, and stood. Sarah applauded and tried to blend in as well as she could.

Don’t throw up, she thought.

Tim left the stage, and exited the room. Shortly after, the members filed out of the building, talking excitedly to one another.
Sarah made it into the van, and left the complex as easily as she got in. As soon as she was far enough away to pull over without someone stopping to help, she did. She staggered out of the van and vomited.

She drove back to the motel, and found the room Dan had checked into.

“What the fuck happened to you?” Dan asked, near panic.

Sarah sat down, and told him.

“Holy shit,” Dan said. He looked like he was about ready to throw up himself.

***
Pan woke up first. Hep woke up seconds later, when Pan yelled “Fuck, that is just nasty!”

Hep sat up to see Pan rolling over on the couch to face away from the cushions.

“Seriously, I’m not even going to tell you what the cleaning crew missed over here,” Pan said.

Hep thought he would try and take a shower, but reconsidered after seeing the state the bathroom was in. He turned around and saw the sheep again.

“Shit, I forgot about you,” Hep said.

The sheep looked at Hep quizzically, then walked over to Scroat and started licking his face.

“What the? Hey, oh, fuck that’s disgusting,” Scroat said as he woke up. He sat up to get out of reach of the sheep.

“Wow, I never thought I’d see that,” Hep said.

“You and your fucking sacrifices, Hep,” Scroat said. “There’s no way I’m sticking around for eternity with you if this keeps up.”

Hep went and paid at the front office for their room, then they fired up the bikes and headed back to Arizona. They had to find out what had happened to Sarah.

***
Dan and Sarah had gone to get something to eat, and then drove a ways down a promising dirt road. At the end of the road, to their surprise and pleasure, was an abandoned gravel pit. They stopped about 20 feet from the edge.

They got out of the van, took off the license plates and wiped down all the handles in the van, as well as the steering wheel. Sarah put the van in neutral, then went to the back of the van and helped Dan get it rolling.

Once it was rolling well on it’s they both stopped and watched it roll over the edge. Sarah and Dan were surprised by the sudden silence when it finally tipped over the edge of the pit. They were very surprised at the colossal crashing noise the van made when it hit the bottom of the pit.

They started to walk towards the edge of the pit to peer over and see the wreckage when the van explode. Sarah and Dan both leapt back about five feet.

Dan looked at Sarah and said, “I thought that only happened in movies.”

“Well, now we know,” Sarah replied.

The hike back to the hotel was only a few miles, and thankfully it wasn’t terribly hot outside yet. They walked mostly in silence.

They reached the motel without incident, and went inside to rest.

A few hours later, they heard motorcycles stop in front of their room. Dan went to the door and opened it. Pan, Scroat and Hep were stomping towards him from the parking lot. Hep had the sheep strapped to his back.

“Hi,” Dan said. “Did you know you’ve got a sheep on your back.”

“Hi. Yes. It says Sarah is missing, what’s the deal?” Hep said.

Sarah came to the door. “I’m not missing, what are you talking about?”

Hep looked at Dan.

“Well, she disappeared, then came back. Come in and we’ll explain,” Dan said.

Hep took the sheep off his back and told it to go wait in his garage. It trotted off, apparently content.

A few minutes later, Hep remembered that the garage was locked. He wondered if there would be an additional sheep-sized hole in his garage door when he got home again. Oh well.

They went into Dan and Sarah’s motel room. Dan and Sarah took turns telling them about what had happened while they were gone. Sarah told them about seeing another god get killed.

“Damn, not Baron Samedi,” Scroat said. “That son of a bitch was awesome. A fella could always count on him to have a good supply of cigars and rum, too.”

“So he said they would all become gods?” Hep asked.

Sarah nodded. “Yep, they’re planning to ‘throw of the reigns of the petty oppressors,’” she said.

“Well, I’ve got nothing to worry about, I’ve never oppressed anyone,” Scroat said.

“They’ll kill you just on general principle, you filthy swine,” Pan said.

“Fuck you,” Scroat snapped back.

Pan took a breath to reply, but then they heard a helicopter outside, getting closer. The noise got louder and louder until they realized that it must be directly overhead. The five ran outside to look.

“Aw, fuck!” Scroat yelled.

Hep grabbed on to Dan and Sarah and vanished.

“Hey!” Pan yelled at the space where the three had been.

Hep reappeared, minus Dan and Sarah. He looked at Pan and Scroat and yelled, “Well? Get on the fucking bikes!”

They ran to the motorcycles and tore out of the parking lot, with the helicopter following almost directly overhead. Hep led them east, counting on something the helicopter pilot didn’t know. Hep and Scroat never had to stop for gas but, unless it was a god flying the helicopter, the pilot would have to stop for fuel eventually. All they had to do was keep riding until the chopper had to turn back, and then they’d be able to disappear for a while.

Hep figured their best chance would be to hide out in the desert, far away from anyone who might be connected to “The New Paradigm.” They seemed like a dangerous bunch, a really dangerous bunch, and Hep thought attacking them head on might not be a good plan. They weren’t too bright, but there were a lot of them, and they were probably getting smarter all the time. At least, a few of them were probably getting smarter. The dangerous ones. They’d have to try and take care of the dumb ones first.